The Power of Vulnerability: Why It’s Okay to Not Have Everything Figured Out
Ever feel like you need to have it all together, but you just don’t? Society, family, and even social media often make us feel like we’re failing if our life doesn’t look like a highlight reel. For many, especially Black women, the pressure to embody the "Strong Black Woman" schema can make vulnerability feel like a luxury we can’t afford. But here’s the truth: vulnerability isn’t a weakness; it’s a superpower.
Societal Pressures to "Have It All Figured Out"
Growing up as the oldest daughter, my family made sure I was laser-focused on my studies. Dating? A distraction. So, I did what I was supposed to—got a degree, built a career, and became financially independent. But now, at 29, my family greets me with, “When will you have babies? When’s the wedding?” UM, WHAT?! Y’all are confusing me.
These unrealistic expectations, especially for first-gen adults, make us feel like we’re always falling short.
A Personal Story of Vulnerability
At 25, my life hit a turning point. I was stuck in a career I’d outgrown, battling anxiety and depression, and grieving the loss of my grandfather. I had no hobbies, no joy, just me and my endless thoughts. Reading Yvonne Orji’s Bamboozled by Jesus was my wake-up call. That book lit a fire under me! It reminded me of my purpose and pushed me to take action.
I admitted to myself that where I was wasn’t where I wanted to be, and from that moment, I committed to change. I started grad school, made a plan for my life, and began walking in my truth.
Pro Tip: Check out Yvonne Orji’s book here.
How Vulnerability Fosters Connection
Letting my guard down helped me connect with amazing people who were meant to be in my life. When you stop pretending everything’s perfect, the right people show up.
Reframing Vulnerability
Vulnerability is growth. Releasing shame and doubt is key. Here’s a tip: journal your thoughts and identify where your shame comes from. Writing helped me rediscover myself and even inspired my business, Product of Therapy and Prayer, which started with selling journals.
The Myth of "Perfectly Put-Together"
Stop comparing yourself to others’ highlight reels. Imperfection is human. Try these journaling prompts to embrace vulnerability:
What’s one thing I feel shame about, and why?
What would my life look like if I showed up as my authentic self?
What’s one step I can take today to let go of perfectionism?
How can I love myself when I am not perfect?
Conclusion
No one has it all figured out, and that’s okay. Vulnerability is a tool for self-awareness, connection, and healing. Be kind to yourself—you’re exactly where you need to be.
