Creating a Vision for Your Future (Even When It Feels Uncertain)
Let me set the scene: it was an all-white party, my college besties and I were living our best lives- tipsyyyyyy, the drinks were flowing. At some point in the night, we found ourselves drunkenly running around a table, chanting, “I’m 30 and I’m sexy!” Looking back, it was chaotic and hilarious, but also… kind of profound. I didn’t realize it then, but we were speaking life over ourselves. It was a glittery, tipsy 13 Going on 30 moment—pure Jenna Rink energy.
Now here I am at 29, just a year shy of that “sexy 30” declaration, and I’m living a life I once prayed for. But here’s the kicker: recent events have had me sitting with some hard questions- I can’t wait to spill the tea on that but that’s not what we’re talking about today. It’s been having me like, Wait, God… what exactly was in that prayer? Because while I’m grateful for how far I’ve come, I’m also navigating some big decisions that feel steeped in uncertainty. And you know what? That’s okay.
Before we go further, this isn’t one of those “I’ve got it all figured out” moments—it’s more of a “we’re in this together” vibe. This is a safe space, right? Y’all won’t call the people if you see me crashing out right? Ok, cool. Let’s talk about how to hold space for your dreams, faith, and self-compassion, especially when the road ahead feels unclear.
Speak It into Existence
One thing about me? I’ve always been a dreamer. But dreaming isn’t just about wishful thinking; it’s about planting seeds, even if you don’t know exactly when or how they’ll grow. Take my longtime habit of introducing myself as Dr. Kendal’Spirit. Do I have my PhD yet? Not even close. But claiming it early gave me something to work toward.
And listen, I didn’t just say it for vibes. I started aligning my actions with that vision—earning my master’s degree, building a support system, and exposing myself to the spaces I wanted to be in. I may not have all the answers, but I’m out here taking steps. And when I scroll through my private Pinterest boards filled with dream houses and new cars, I’m not just fantasizing; I’m preparing my heart to receive those blessings when the time is right.
Here’s the takeaway: speak life over yourself, even if you’re unsure of the timing. It’s not about having everything figured out—it’s about honoring the possibility of what could be.
Lean on Faith (and Be Kind to Yourself)
Uncertainty used to terrify me. I liked having plans and control and clear paths. But over the years, I’ve learned to lean into my faith and let go of the need to see the entire road. One of my favorite prayers is simple but powerful: “God, allow Your plan to be better than mine. Align me with where You see me.”
And let me tell you, God is quick to remind me: “Your plan was too small, Kendal.” Every time I think something isn’t working out the way it should, it turns out it’s just making space for something better.
That doesn’t mean it’s easy, though. There are moments when I feel stuck, scared, or unsure. In those moments, I try to talk to myself the way I would a best friend: It’s okay to not know right now. You’re doing your best. Keep going. Self-compassion is the bridge between where you are and where you’re going, so don’t forget to extend that grace to yourself.
Surround Yourself with the Right People
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you don’t have to figure it all out alone. My support system is everything. When I face a setback, I’m not met with “I told you so” or judgment. Instead, my people are like, “Alright, girl, what’s next? What do you need? Let’s figure it out together.”
That kind of energy is life-changing. It’s why I’m intentional about who I keep close. I don’t need naysayers or people who doubt my dreams—I need people who see my potential, even on days when I don’t.
If you don’t have that yet, start by being that person for yourself. Cheer yourself on. Believe in your ability to figure it out. The right people will find you when you start showing up for yourself.
Give Yourself Permission to Dream Big
Let’s be real: going after the life you want can feel scary, especially when it doesn’t look doable to everyone else—or even to you sometimes. But that’s okay. You don’t need anyone else’s approval to dream big.
For me, dreaming big isn’t just about the end goal—it’s about the process. It’s about figuring it out one step at a time, trusting that I’m being guided, and reminding myself that failure is just a stepping stone. The worst thing I can do is not try.
So when I think about where I’m headed, I remind myself: God’s plan is better than mine. I don’t have to see the whole picture to take the next step. And neither do you.
Let’s Keep Figuring It Out
If you’re in a season of uncertainty, know this: you’re not alone. I’m right there with you, figuring it out as I go, trusting God, and leaning into what feels right. Some days it’s messy, some days it’s magic—but every day, it’s worth it.
So here’s to dreaming big, trusting the process, and giving ourselves the grace to keep going. We’ve got this. Together.
And before I go, I have to give a special shoutout to my girlalalalassss—the Unfriendly, Educated Black Hotties—for walking through this life thing with me. Y’all keep me grounded, inspired, and laughing through it all. We’ve got this. Together.
Tips:
Create a mantra: Choose a phrase that embodies your goals, like “I am becoming everything I’m meant to be,” and repeat it daily.
Celebrate out loud: Don’t be afraid to share your aspirations in safe spaces. Let yourself believe they’re possible.
Vision boards & journals: Document your dreams visually or through writing. Keep them somewhere you can revisit often
Find an anchoring prayer or affirmation: Something like, “God, align me with Your plan. Let it be better than mine.”
Pause for gratitude: When you’re overwhelmed, take a moment to list what’s going right. It helps shift your perspective.
Show yourself grace: Instead of spiraling when plans change, remind yourself that you’re learning and adapting.
Do an energy audit: Reflect on how you feel after interacting with people. Keep the ones who uplift you close.
Find your “What’s next?” crew: Look for people who brainstorm solutions with you instead of dwelling on problems.
Be that person for others: The support you give often mirrors the support you receive.
Dream without limits: Ask yourself, What would I want if I knew I couldn’t fail? Let your imagination run wild.
Take small, aligned steps: You don’t need to know the entire path—just focus on the next right step.
Focus on your “why”: Remember the deeper purpose behind your goals. It’ll keep you motivated when things get hard.
