Dear Ken: Career Advice

I’ve added a page where you can submit advice letters, and we’ve already received a few! Dat is so crazy. Feel free to send in your questions on the ‘Dear Ken’ page. Let’s see how we can support each other. Sarai wrote in and gave permission to use her name—I'll leave comments on just in case you'd like to add your thoughts two cents.

Letter

Hi, I enjoyed this blog! I’m in my early 20s and am in grad school, I want to be a therapist and do similar work to what I’ve seen you post about. I follow you on TikTok and seen that you passed your NCE last year. I’m in my practicum now and have no idea how you managed to do that while working. I shared it with my advisor and he told me absolutely not to do that since it is really stressful and such a big year. I plan to take mine immediately after I finish practicum but would like any advice you have for me. And any tips on staying mentally well during this year. It’s only been 4 months and I feel like I am losing it. Annnd (sorry I just have a lot of questions because there’s not a lot of of people in my program that can give me these answers) how did you deal with imposter syndrome when being in the field. Sometimes I can’t believe people are trusting me to do what I do

Response

Hey love,

I feel you! Grad school + practicum + work is a wild ride, and honestly, last year was so hard for me, too. I'm a good planner, but there were times I genuinely wasn’t prepared for how challenging it would be. Like, there were so many breakdowns. Let me shout out my site supervisors because I was truly blessed to be at a site that cared for me, saw me, and allowed me to take up space and unfortunately that is a priviledge. There’s something about practicum that breaks you down as a therapist, but trust me, we all go through it, and you'll get through it too.

Take your breaks—you're human, and you’re going to bend a little. Don’t feel like you need to have it all together right away. I wasn’t super strict with myself, but I was disciplined. I studied for a couple of months using tools like the purple book, Mometrix, and Test.com. Honestly, I’m a good test taker, so if that’s not your thing, be kind to yourself and find what works best for you. I spent two months listening to Dr. Pam’s youtube study sessions all day, every day, during breaks. I was honestly hanging on by a thread at times, and that study time was a lifesaver.

My commute was 45 minutes to an hour one way, and there were days I was so tired that I almost fell asleep behind the wheel. I’d use that time to cry and process the emotional weight of the year. It was draining, but I kept going. There were weeks where I felt like I was doing great and other weeks when I was barely holding it together. I rode my internship like a wave, letting it shape me into the therapist I am today.

One of the biggest lessons I learned during that time was about balance. I overcommitted myself early on, trying so hard to get my hours that I didn’t want to take breaks, especially during the winter when I was already hanging by a strand. That’s when my site supervisor, Becky, stepped in and said, “Kendal, chill.” And that was the moment I realized my success wasn’t defined by my productivity. I learned that I had to prioritize self-care to keep showing up for my clients. And let me tell you, I ended up finishing my hours earlier than expected. My clients kept showing up because I showed up for them—and for myself.

As for imposter syndrome, girl, it’s not something that just goes away. Even now, as I’m out of school, I still battle it. But I know how to handle it now. It doesn’t have the same power over me that it once did. Just know that you're not alone in that feeling. You’re doing great, and people trust you because you know what you’re doing. And remember, you’re not supposed to have everything figured out right now. It's day by day, babe. Day by day.

A few tips for staying mentally well during this stressful time:

• Acknowledge Your Feelings, But Don’t Let Them Define You
  Imposter syndrome thrives on self-doubt. Recognizing that you're feeling it is the first step, but don't let it convince you that you don’t deserve your achievements. Your experiences and hard work have brought you here.

• Keep a “Wins List”
  Write down your accomplishments, whether they’re big or small. Whenever imposter syndrome hits, read through it and remind yourself of the concrete successes that show your competence and growth. Celebrate your journey! I kept a video diary during grad school, every time I look at the clips now it reminds me to hold on and enjoy the moments, they go by.

• Talk to Someone Who Gets It
  Sometimes, just knowing you’re not alone helps. Talk to peers, mentors, or supervisors who have walked a similar path. They’ll often reassure you that imposter syndrome is common and share how they deal with it, too.

• Reframe Your Thoughts
  Instead of thinking “I don’t belong here,” try saying, “I’ve earned my place here and I’m still learning.” Focus on progress, not perfection. It's a growth journey, not a destination.

• Lean Into Vulnerability
  Being vulnerable about not having all the answers makes you more relatable and human. When you allow yourself to be open about what you’re learning or struggling with, you build trust with others and validate that it's okay not to know everything.

• Shift Focus From Yourself to Your Clients/Impact
  When you focus on your clients' progress and the impact you're having, it becomes easier to see that what you’re doing matters, even if you’re not feeling 100% sure of yourself.

• Affirmations and Self-Compassion
  Practice saying affirmations like, “I am capable. I deserve to be here. My work matters.” Also, be gentle with yourself; we’re all human, and learning is part of the process. Treat yourself with the same kindness you'd give to a friend.

• Stay Grounded
  Try mindfulness exercises like breathing, body scans, or even just taking a moment to center yourself when you feel that self-doubt creeping in. It’s okay to pause and take a mental break when you need it.

• Remember: Growth Is Messy
  You’ll have highs and lows, but that’s how we grow. Embrace both the successes and struggles; each experience is a building block for your development as a clinician and as a person.

• Seek Support When Needed
  If imposter syndrome is overwhelming, consider seeking therapy or talking to a mentor. It’s okay to seek help to address these feelings and develop healthier coping strategies.

Imposter syndrome isn’t something that disappears overnight, but with time and practice, you’ll develop ways to manage it. It’s just another hurdle in the journey of self-discovery and growth.

• Take breaks: Your work is important, but so are you! Take breaks and do something that brings you joy, even if it's just for a few minutes. For me, simple things like a “Soup Wednesday” or taking a moment to watch the sunset helped keep me grounded.

• Stay active: Whether it’s a quick walk, stretching, or yoga, find time to move. It helps release stress and keeps your body and mind connected.

• Set boundaries: Learn to say no when you’re stretched too thin. Be mindful of your limits and don’t feel guilty for prioritizing your well-being.

• Therapy: You know I was going to say it, therapy was a must during that process and you know why!

Trust me, you’ll get through this. If you want, message me your email and I’d be happy to share my study tools with you. You've got this, and I’m rooting for you! I’ll see you in the field.

Warmlyyyy,
Kennn