Dear Ken… Is he holding me back?
I’ve added a page where you can submit advice letters, and we’ve already received a few! Dat is so crazy. Feel free to send in your questions on the ‘Dear Ken’ page. Let’s see how we can support each other. Sarai wrote in and gave permission to use her name—I'll leave comments on just in case you'd like to add your thoughts two cents.
Letter
Subject: Is he holding me back?
Message: Hi Ken,
I'm nervous writing in because I'm ashamed of what I’ve accepted and confused about what to do please keep me anonymous. I am a 26(F) and have been dating and living with a 29(M) for 2 years. I met him at 22, but we were off and on for a year. We made it official about 2 years ago and moved in 3 months later (I know, I know).I work in corporate tech and am considering going back to school for PM, which is what I’m writing in about. My boyfriend does not have a college degree and recently graduated from the police academy. He went to school for a couple of years but didn’t finish. He has negative views of college and talks about it being a waste because “we get debt for a piece of paper.” I don’t feel that way and want to continue advancing my degree especially with the times we’re living in.
Before he joined the police force, he was working at Amazon and had some part-time jobs. He paid the bills but didn’t have a lot of money, which didn’t bother me since we were young we made it work. I encouraged him and motivated him to join the force.Now I’m trying to go back to school. I’ll take out loans, and my job will help with tuition, but he’s not supportive. In a recent conversation, he said that if I go back, he will break up with me. When I talked to him about it, he said he was joking, but I don’t think so since he’s been saying stuff like this often. He says it will take time away from him and that I should be satisfied with where I am now.
A huge part of me wants to run because I know it’s not okay for him to say that, but I value marriage and want to be a wife. My family is looking at me like I should be a wife to him too. I’m the first in my family to get a degree, so they think I’ve already reached my success.I just need to know what should I do? Or, I know you can’t give me advice, so what would you do? Do I put the career stuff to the side and focus on my relationship, maybe get some certifications? Or do I go back to school because he says he won’t break up with me?
To be honest, I’m okay if you drag me for filth as long as I’m anonymous. I just need someone to tell me the truth and what I need to hear. I don’t want to run this through my friends because I’m so embarrassed.
Sorry this is so long.
Response
Leave Him. The fact that you’re questioning what’s best for you tells me that deep down, you already know the answer. You just need someone to say it out loud.
Leave him.
Point blank, sis. Anyone—whether it’s a boyfriend, a friend, or even family—who wants you to stay stagnant, dim your light, or put their insecurities ahead of your growth is not someone you need in your corner. A boyfriend worth building a life with wouldn’t see your dreams as a threat to his. He wouldn’t joke about breaking up with you or tell you to be satisfied with “enough.” A husband—a real partner—would either support your goals outright or work with you to figure out a plan to make them happen together. This man is doing neither. Leave him.
You mentioned your family think you’ve “already reached your peak” because you’re the first in your family to get a degree. I know that pressure hits deep, especially for first-gen people. But you don’t owe anyone a version of yourself that makes them more comfortable. That’s their opinion— don’t make it your reality. You are you—a woman with ambition, vision, and drive. That doesn’t stop just because others are satisfied. You didn’t work this hard to stop now.
And let’s talk about his comments on college being a “waste.” Look, the times we’re living in are hard, and degrees do matter. It’s not just a piece of paper—it’s access. It’s mobility. It’s options. Don’t let someone’s bitterness or fear of being left behind convince you otherwise. If you’ve got the opportunity to go back to school, especially with your job helping out, take it. That degree will open doors for you that he might not even see because he’s too busy trying to block them.
Leave him.The bigger issue here isn’t just the degree; it’s his mindset. When a man shows you who he is, believe him the first time. The jokes about breaking up aren’t just jokes—they’re manipulation wrapped in humor. The idea that you should be “satisfied” with where you are? That’s a red flag waving high. He’s not worried about the time you’ll spend in class; he’s worried that you’ll grow in ways that he won’t. He’s scared of being left behind, and instead of doing the work to grow with you, he’s trying to hold you back.
This is a dilemma women face way too often. Society teaches us to prioritize relationships and sacrifice for love, while men are told to focus on their careers and get their life together before even thinking about marriage. Sis, we need to take a page from their book. Build your life. Invest in yourself. Put yourself first, because when you do find a partner who’s worthy of you, they’ll be ready to meet you at your level—not drag you down to theirs. Leave him.
Because I’ve lived it I know you can love someone deeply and still choose yourself. I spent my 20s growing in a relationship, and let me tell you—prioritizing my dreams, even with a ring on my finger, changed everything. No partner, no matter how much you love them, should stop you from chasing what’s yours. People can wake up one day and decide to live differently in a way that no longer aligns with you. Trust me. That’s why it’s so important to build your life around you and not what anyone else thinks, says, or does.
I am beyond grateful that I stayed the course, no matter what my partner was doing. He knew better than to try to stop my dreams, because nothing about me gave him permission to think I’d settle for less. And that’s what I want for you—that confidence. That knowing. That “I’m that girl, and you’re not going to talk me out of it” energy.
Check in with yourself. With your spirit. Look in the mirror and remind yourself of who you are and where you’re going. Your journey is yours. Your identity is not tied to marriage or being a wife. It’s not even tied to your career—it’s tied to the woman you’re becoming. And that woman? She’s not about to let anyone hold her back, especially someone who doesn’t see her worth.
Ask yourself: How do you want your future husband to treat you? How do you want him to joke with you? Something tells me this ain’t it. The man for you will never make you feel small. He won’t “joke” about breaking up with you or tell you to be satisfied with less. He’ll be the one cheering you on when you’re tired, reminding you why you started in the first place, and building with you—not against you. And truthfully, you’re putting a husband dilemma on a guy who is just your boyfriend.
This man you’re with now? He’s harmful, sis. His words, his attitude, his energy—it’s all weighing you down. And you don’t deserve that. Move around. Choose yourself, your goals, your dreams, and the life you want to create. The right partner will respect you for it.
You are that girl—and if you need to hear it again, go up to that mirror. Look at yourself and tell yourself your journey is yours. You will reach your goals and won’t be around anyone who wants you to think small. Let him go. Pack his negativity, insecurity, and jokes up in a box, and leave them at the curb where they belong.
You’ve got work to do, dreams to chase, and a life to live—and it’s time to get started.
With love and all the confidence in the world,
Ken
Should I ghost my friends?
Message: Dear Ken, I love this blog it is so needed for the times we in and I feel like I am getting good advice from my big sister, I want to see you win with this. I'm writing in hoping you can give me some insight and tips on moving forward. You talked about how important it is to have community and how important your friends are to you in helping you. I'm 25 and realizing I dont have that and its so sad because I have "friends". I think I am outgrowing my friends because I really just want people around me who are trying to reach their goals and live the life of our dreams like I don't want to always go to brunch and yap. I feel like we aren't really reaching our full potential and I should meet new people. People who want to talk about business and growth. Broke people should never laugh and I'm getting annoyed because why are we going out to brunch if we still punching a clock. Will my friends be my downfall if I don't move around? Should I tell them why we can't be friends or just fall back, I'm not good at conflict so I don't want to make it something bigger. What do you think Thank you in advance.
Response
Hey Bria, I hear you, but I don’t completely feel where you’re coming from. You’d probably hate me and my girls because we are total “yap queens.” We definitely aren’t sitting around talking business analytics all the time. But here’s the thing — I’m a self-driven girl, and I happen to be surrounded by other self-driven people. We keep each other accountable, talk about our goals, and even help each other out — but that’s only about 20% of our relationship. The rest is love, fun, and pure connection.
I’m strict with these men, but not strict with my girls. Friendships need grace and understanding, not rules and judgment. If you’re craving more goal-oriented conversations, start by asking your friends if they’re open to creating space for that. But be mindful — assuming your friends don’t care about their futures or aren’t goal-oriented just because they’re not in the same headspace as you is dangerous territory. That’s a you problem, not theirs.
Don’t hold contempt thinking you’re “better” because brunch doesn’t feel right to you right now. People are in different seasons of life, and that’s okay. If you want your circle to shift, start with yourself. Put in the energy and effort to be the person you want to attract. Whether your friends join you on that path or not, you’ll find your tribe as long as you’re true to yourself.
Now, about ghosting: Don’t do it. Ghosting is an immature way to deal with discomfort. Instead, be honest but kind. Let them know how you’re feeling — that you’re shifting your focus and looking to connect with people who align with your current goals. That way, you leave the door open for the friendship to evolve rather than slamming it shut.
At the end of the day, life is about balance. Friendships aren’t one-dimensional. You can laugh over brunch and also help each other grow — the two aren’t mutually exclusive. If your current friends don’t vibe with the growth you’re craving, that’s fine. Just don’t burn bridges or let assumptions get in the way of meaningful connections. Your energy will naturally attract the right people, but only if you’re leading with love, not judgment.
Hope that helps! Keep shining and building the life you want!
Dear Ken… My boyfriend got another girl pregnant
I’ve added a page where you can submit advice letters, and we’ve already received a few! Dat is so crazy. Feel free to send in your questions on the ‘Dear Ken’ page. Let’s see how we can support each other. Sarai wrote in and gave permission to use her name—I'll leave comments on just in case you'd like to add your thoughts two cents.
Letter
Hey Ken, I read through all your posts while I was getting a pedicure and fell in love with your writing. I need some advice......I been with my boyfriend since college. I am now 23, I graduated and moved to Atlanta and recently he has been staying with me because he is relocating for work. We had conversations about moving in together and taking the relationship to the next steps and I was kind of apprehensive about it because something wasn't feeling right. We went to school in Virgina and he was living out there but wanted some better opportunities so I told him to come here and he ended up getting something in his field. So boom this where the story starts, I DID NOT GO THROUGH HIS PHONE- but his apple watch was in the bathroom and I forgot my phone and needed entertainment so I explored it some. I seen some messages between him and this girl that was inappropriate and I scrolled up to discover he got her pregnant in July. I know they got an abortion because the texts were arguments and she brought it up, the texts were from last year up into last month. I feel like this is so disrespectful and unbelievable, when I approached him about it he got defensive about me going through his things and then apologized and was pleading. I am so over the relationship but he is making me feel like I am in the wrong for wanting to throw away the relationship. He says that this is just a bump in the road and she got an abortion so that's why he did not tell me because he hasn't cheated since (I promise I'm not dumb I know what you probably thinking) I feel so dirty too because we have been having sex unprotected for years so why would he expose me like this t`o something by having sex with someone else. I want to leave but this is my apartment and he has no where to go. Am I wrong for wanting to putting him out and wanting to be single over this hiccup? Any advice on this and healing through a heartbreak would be so appreciated, thank you girl.
Response
Hey babe,
PREGNANTTTT??!!! This situation is a lot, and I don’t think you’re dumb. I’m proud of you for reaching out because you deserve to be heard and supported through this.
Now, let’s be real—he’s trash. Ain’t no sugarcoating that. You found out he was messing around, getting someone else pregnant, and wasn’t even upfront about it. That's disrespectful, and I don’t blame you for feeling hurt. The fact that he's flipping it on you and making you feel bad for wanting to leave? Sis, that’s manipulation at its finest. If a man is gonna have one thing, its audacity. You’re allowed to walk away from that.
You’re 23, girl. Too young to be out here stressing over someone who can’t even respect you enough to be honest. You’ve got so much life ahead of you, and you do not need to be stuck with someone who’s playing games. A relationship should bring you peace, not make you question your worth or make you feel like you're in the wrong for wanting something real.
Also, I see you went through his Apple Watch for entertainment—lmao, I’m dead! I’m not mad at you lmaoooo.
As for him having nowhere to go: don’t get in the habit of making someone comfortable at the expense of your own comfort. You’ve been letting him stay with you, you’ve been opening your home and your heart, and now he’s out here disrespecting both. Don’t let this be a pattern. What you decide today will impact the woman you are tomorrow. When you look back on this moment, do you want to feel good about the choices you made? Do you want the woman you’re becoming to be okay with making decisions that don’t prioritize her own peace? You deserve to be comfortable, to feel safe, and to trust the person you’re with. And, sis, he’s showing you that he’s not the one to provide that.
Look, I work with couples who’ve been through affairs and betrayal in therapy. So, let me tell you, I’m not here to judge your decisions. I support anyone who wants to try and work through things after betrayal, but at the end of the day, it’s about what feels right for you. I tell all my clients who’ve gone through similar situations—lean on your values. What would your values tell you to do in this situation? Because that’s what’s gonna lead you to the right decision for your heart, your peace, and your future. You don’t need to do anything that doesn’t feel right in your soul.
So here’s how I’d suggest moving forward:
Feel all the feelings. You’re gonna have a range of emotions, and it’s okay to be mad, sad, confused—all of it. Let yourself process them without feeling guilty.
Turn on that Lemonade Album girly.
Space is necessary. Whether it’s cutting contact for a bit or just taking some time to be alone, sometimes you have to protect your energy. Don’t feel bad about creating distance if that’s what you need.
Lean on your tribe. Talk to your friends, family—whoever has your back. You need people who will remind you of your worth when you forget.
Focus on your healing. Do the things that make you feel good, whether it’s self-care, hitting the gym, or just having a girls' night. You deserve to feel like yourself again.
Girl, trust yourself here. You know what’s best for you. You’ve got a whole future ahead of you, and this is just one chapter. Don’t let this dude or anyone else take your peace.
I’m rooting for you. You’ve got this. ❤️
Dear Ken: Career Advice
I’ve added a page where you can submit advice letters, and we’ve already received a few! Dat is so crazy. Feel free to send in your questions on the ‘Dear Ken’ page. Let’s see how we can support each other. Sarai wrote in and gave permission to use her name—I'll leave comments on just in case you'd like to add your thoughts two cents.
Letter
Hi, I enjoyed this blog! I’m in my early 20s and am in grad school, I want to be a therapist and do similar work to what I’ve seen you post about. I follow you on TikTok and seen that you passed your NCE last year. I’m in my practicum now and have no idea how you managed to do that while working. I shared it with my advisor and he told me absolutely not to do that since it is really stressful and such a big year. I plan to take mine immediately after I finish practicum but would like any advice you have for me. And any tips on staying mentally well during this year. It’s only been 4 months and I feel like I am losing it. Annnd (sorry I just have a lot of questions because there’s not a lot of of people in my program that can give me these answers) how did you deal with imposter syndrome when being in the field. Sometimes I can’t believe people are trusting me to do what I do
Response
Hey love,
I feel you! Grad school + practicum + work is a wild ride, and honestly, last year was so hard for me, too. I'm a good planner, but there were times I genuinely wasn’t prepared for how challenging it would be. Like, there were so many breakdowns. Let me shout out my site supervisors because I was truly blessed to be at a site that cared for me, saw me, and allowed me to take up space and unfortunately that is a priviledge. There’s something about practicum that breaks you down as a therapist, but trust me, we all go through it, and you'll get through it too.
Take your breaks—you're human, and you’re going to bend a little. Don’t feel like you need to have it all together right away. I wasn’t super strict with myself, but I was disciplined. I studied for a couple of months using tools like the purple book, Mometrix, and Test.com. Honestly, I’m a good test taker, so if that’s not your thing, be kind to yourself and find what works best for you. I spent two months listening to Dr. Pam’s youtube study sessions all day, every day, during breaks. I was honestly hanging on by a thread at times, and that study time was a lifesaver.
My commute was 45 minutes to an hour one way, and there were days I was so tired that I almost fell asleep behind the wheel. I’d use that time to cry and process the emotional weight of the year. It was draining, but I kept going. There were weeks where I felt like I was doing great and other weeks when I was barely holding it together. I rode my internship like a wave, letting it shape me into the therapist I am today.
One of the biggest lessons I learned during that time was about balance. I overcommitted myself early on, trying so hard to get my hours that I didn’t want to take breaks, especially during the winter when I was already hanging by a strand. That’s when my site supervisor, Becky, stepped in and said, “Kendal, chill.” And that was the moment I realized my success wasn’t defined by my productivity. I learned that I had to prioritize self-care to keep showing up for my clients. And let me tell you, I ended up finishing my hours earlier than expected. My clients kept showing up because I showed up for them—and for myself.
As for imposter syndrome, girl, it’s not something that just goes away. Even now, as I’m out of school, I still battle it. But I know how to handle it now. It doesn’t have the same power over me that it once did. Just know that you're not alone in that feeling. You’re doing great, and people trust you because you know what you’re doing. And remember, you’re not supposed to have everything figured out right now. It's day by day, babe. Day by day.
A few tips for staying mentally well during this stressful time:
Acknowledge Your Feelings, But Don’t Let Them Define You
Imposter syndrome thrives on self-doubt. Recognizing that you're feeling it is the first step, but don't let it convince you that you don’t deserve your achievements. Your experiences and hard work have brought you here.Keep a “Wins List”
Write down your accomplishments, whether they’re big or small. Whenever imposter syndrome hits, read through it and remind yourself of the concrete successes that show your competence and growth. Celebrate your journey! I kept a video diary during grad school, every time I look at the clips now it reminds me to hold on and enjoy the moments, they go by.Talk to Someone Who Gets It
Sometimes, just knowing you’re not alone helps. Talk to peers, mentors, or supervisors who have walked a similar path. They’ll often reassure you that imposter syndrome is common and share how they deal with it, too.Reframe Your Thoughts
Instead of thinking “I don’t belong here,” try saying, “I’ve earned my place here and I’m still learning.” Focus on progress, not perfection. It's a growth journey, not a destination.Lean Into Vulnerability
Being vulnerable about not having all the answers makes you more relatable and human. When you allow yourself to be open about what you’re learning or struggling with, you build trust with others and validate that it's okay not to know everything.Shift Focus From Yourself to Your Clients/Impact
When you focus on your clients' progress and the impact you're having, it becomes easier to see that what you’re doing matters, even if you’re not feeling 100% sure of yourself.Affirmations and Self-Compassion
Practice saying affirmations like, “I am capable. I deserve to be here. My work matters.” Also, be gentle with yourself; we’re all human, and learning is part of the process. Treat yourself with the same kindness you'd give to a friend.Stay Grounded
Try mindfulness exercises like breathing, body scans, or even just taking a moment to center yourself when you feel that self-doubt creeping in. It’s okay to pause and take a mental break when you need it.Remember: Growth Is Messy
You’ll have highs and lows, but that’s how we grow. Embrace both the successes and struggles; each experience is a building block for your development as a clinician and as a person.Seek Support When Needed
If imposter syndrome is overwhelming, consider seeking therapy or talking to a mentor. It’s okay to seek help to address these feelings and develop healthier coping strategies.
Imposter syndrome isn’t something that disappears overnight, but with time and practice, you’ll develop ways to manage it. It’s just another hurdle in the journey of self-discovery and growth.
Take breaks: Your work is important, but so are you! Take breaks and do something that brings you joy, even if it's just for a few minutes. For me, simple things like a “Soup Wednesday” or taking a moment to watch the sunset helped keep me grounded.
Stay active: Whether it’s a quick walk, stretching, or yoga, find time to move. It helps release stress and keeps your body and mind connected.
Set boundaries: Learn to say no when you’re stretched too thin. Be mindful of your limits and don’t feel guilty for prioritizing your well-being.
Therapy: You know I was going to say it, therapy was a must during that process and you know why!
Trust me, you’ll get through this. If you want, message me your email and I’d be happy to share my study tools with you. You've got this, and I’m rooting for you! I’ll see you in the field.
Warmlyyyy,
Kennn
Dear Ken… “Feeling Like I Can’t Take Much More”
I’ve added a page where you can submit advice letters, and we’ve already received a few! Dat is so crazy. Feel free to send in your questions on the ‘Dear Ken’ page. Let’s see how we can support each other. Sarai wrote in and gave permission to use her name—I'll leave comments on just in case you'd like to add your thoughts two cents.
Sarai’s letter
Hey Ken, this blog is so cute and needed and I wanted to write you to get a dose of help cause girl I need it lol. My name is Sarai, I don't mind if you keep my name in I am 26 and work in tech sales I prayed really hard to get into this role and now that I am in it I am feeling ungrateful. This is my second year in it and around the holidays business is overwhelming I am traveling a lot and always feeling like I dont have time to do anything. My hair has been in a bun for too long and I'm sure I have a bald spot lol. On top of that me and my mom have been going at it because I moved out a year ago and have not been spending a lot of time with her. She and my dad are very needy because they have the mentality that since they sacrificed so much for me I have to give my all to them now and I respect that but I literally have nothing. It doesn't help with my stress when I am getting lengthy texts from my mom about how I am ungrateful and should be ashamed at how distant I am. I feel so lost and sad at life right now I love my career and am proud of my accomplishments but damn! I feel like I cannot enjoy it, I don't know what's wrong with me. I want to find a therapist but I don't even know when i will be able to talk to one right now. Any advice on how to push through would be helpful. Thank you
Response
Hey Sarai,
First off, thank you for trusting me with this. Girl, you sound like a powerhouse. You’re out here doing the thing—26, thriving in tech sales, making moves—and even though it feels heavy, you’re doing it. Let me just affirm you right here: you are not alone, and you are absolutely killing it. But whew, it also sounds like burnout is knocking on your door. It happens when you’re giving too much to everything and leaving yourself with crumbs. In order to be the best version of yourself, you have to slow down sometimes and pour into you. Burnout is no stranger to the first gen pop—you’ve gotta know when it’s creeped into the room and politely tell it to get out. Let’s unpack this, because you deserve to thrive, not just survive.
Step 1: Check Those Tanks
You’re running on empty, and in How to Handle Stress and Anxiety in Your 20s (Without Losing Your Sh*t) I mentioned my “tank analogy” before—think of your capacity as multiple tanks: emotional, physical, career, family, etc. Write down where you feel each tank is at right now. Is your self-care tank bone dry? (Sounds like it—sis, please get your hair done, you’ve earned it!) Once you know what’s running low, you can prioritize filling up the ones that matter most.
Step 2: Manage the Overwhelm
Let me put you on to the Eisenhower Matrix It’s a simple tool to help you figure out what’s urgent and important versus what can wait or even be delegated. This tool can be beneficial in getting everything out of your head and on paper, creating a plan for your next moves. I have to use this or I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off. With all the work stress and holiday chaos, this can help you focus on what really matters and let go of the fluff.
Step 3: Talk to Your Mom… or Not
Sarai, I don’t know what side of the diaspora you’re on and I’m not trying to get you hurt, but let me say this with my whole chest: talking to your mom might help—or it might leave you with even more stress so lets break it down and give you options. Only you know how she’ll respond. Ultimately remember you can love and respect your parents without sacrificing your sanity.
Talk to Mom:
Next time your mom sends a guilt-inducing text, try saying something like:
"Mom, I love you and value everything you’ve done for me. Right now, I’m navigating a lot with work, and it’s been hard to keep up. I want to spend time with you, but I also need space to recharge so I can show up as my best self. Let’s plan something together soon."
This sets a boundary and reassures her that you care.
Avoid the Guilt Trip:
If having a direct heart-to-heart feels like it’s going to turn into a guilt Olympics, then skip it for now and try these tips instead:
Set Boundaries in Doses: Instead of diving into heavy conversations, limit interactions to what feels manageable for you. A quick call or text to check in can go a long way without draining your emotional tank. “Ok yeah ma, I was just calling to check in… I gotta go- I’m burning up the rice.”
I’ve found setting a consistent schedule to spend time with parents to be helpful. For example, you could designate Fridays to visit them. You might hear things that aren’t ideal, but the goal isn’t to change them—we love our parents, we just need them in manageable doses. So, when they call or text, you can calmly say, “Okay, I’ll see you Friday.” Use whatever emotional tools you need to navigate that time with them, knowing it’s a planned and manageable visit.
Tag In Some Backup: If you’ve got a sibling or close family member who can help bridge the gap or take some of the pressure off, don’t hesitate to lean on them.
Reframe the Guilt: Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t disrespectful. Your accomplishments and well-being are a testament to all their sacrifices—and you can’t pour from an empty cup.
The goal is to show love without sacrificing your sanity. You don’t have to handle this all at once, and it’s okay to take small steps in managing family dynamics. 💛
Step 4: Pour Into Yourself
Take Breaks Without Guilt:
Even if it’s small, take time to breathe. Apps like Insight Timer or simple guided meditations (Calm, Breath) can help you pause and reset.Mini Wins Matter: Throw on a face mask, stretch for five minutes, or journal—quick, simple acts can remind you that you matter too.
Schedule Joy: Block out a non-negotiable hour for something you love—whether it’s a walk, catching up on your favorite show, or trying a new coffee spot. When I am overwhelmed I picture Joy from Inside Out coming in to “save me” and make me do the things that would make me happy.
Hair Therapy Is Real:
Sis, book the hair appointment or do it yourself. A bald spot is willlddd. Having your hair done is not just about looking good; it’s about feeling good. Sometimes, small self-care acts like this are the first step to remembering that you deserve the love and effort you give to everything else.Fuel Your Body to Fuel Your Mind:
When you’re on the go, it’s easy to eat like you’re on autopilot. Mind body connection is real, so try prepping some snacks or meals in advance—think quick but nutrient-packed options that keep your energy steady. This will also cross a task of your mental load.Therapy Is Your Friend: Check out Therapy for Black Girls for a directory of therapists. I get you already have so much on your plate but even one session a month can make a difference, choose it to the frequency that works for you. Most therapist are flexible and will work to support you and your schedule, just give them an hour.
Sarai, you’re doing so much, and I see you out here navigating life with strength. Burnout happens to the best of us—it’s not a sign of failure, but a signal to slow down and recalibrate. You deserve to enjoy the life you’ve worked so hard to build. Take these steps, pour into yourself, and remember: the grind doesn’t define you. You’ve got this. Thanks for writing in boo!
With love and lattes,
Ken