Aligning With Your Highest Self: Meeting Her, Becoming Her, and Using Free Will to Get There
Aligning With Your Highest Self: Meeting Her, Becoming Her, and Using Free Will to Get There
This week, I felt grounded. Not because life wasn’t throwing punches—it absolutely was—but because I made the choice to stay present. I chose to show up for myself.
My highest self always shows up for herself. She’s intentional, kind, and grounded—even when things don’t go as planned. She’s not perfect, but she’s consistent. And that’s what matters most.
Take this week’s CorePower class as an example. I signed off work late and got to class five minutes past the cutoff. They wouldn’t let me in. Old me might’ve spiraled—angry at myself for being late, frustrated with them for not letting me in, and carrying that irritation for the rest of the night. But this time? I shrugged it off. “Fair enough,” I told myself. I made a mental note to log off earlier next time and focused on being more punctual.
That moment could’ve easily pulled me out of alignment. But instead, I used my free will to choose grace over frustration. And that small choice felt like a win—a reminder of the power we all have to meet and align with our highest selves.
Who Is Your Highest Self?
Your highest self isn’t some distant version of you you’ll meet someday when you “have it all together.” She’s already within you. She’s the version of you that:
Moves with purpose and grace, even when life feels chaotic.
Speaks to herself with kindness and patience.
Chooses to align her actions with her values and goals.
Prioritizes self-love and boundaries unapologetically.
Honors her needs, even when it’s inconvenient. Clock that one!
Your highest self isn’t about being flawless or unbothered. She’s about showing up, being intentional, and making choices that reflect who you’re becoming.
What Does It Look Like to Meet Her?
Meeting your highest self starts with reflection. It’s about slowing down and asking:
Who do I want to be?
How does my highest self think, act, and respond to challenges?
What kind of energy does she bring into the world?
This week, I’ve been meeting my highest self happens through mirror work. It’s a practice I’ve incorporated into my routine and even introduced to my clients with incredible results.
Mirror work is about spending intentional time with yourself—not to critique, but to see yourself. To acknowledge, appreciate, and connect with the person staring back at you.
How I Practice Mirror Work
When I sit in front of the mirror, I start with stillness. I let myself just be for 2, 5, 10+ minutes, taking in my reflection without judgment. I notice the details—my eyes, my expressions, the way I feel in the moment.
Then, I start speaking to myself. I give myself gratitude for the ways I’ve shown up. I hype myself up, offering words of encouragement and kindness. I remind myself of my worth and my progress.
To guide my reflection, I use prompts like:
“What does my highest self need from me today?”
“What am I proud of myself for right now?”
“How can I show up for myself in this moment?”
Here are some prompts to guide your own mirror work practice:
Gratitude Prompts:
“What can I thank my body for today?”
“What has my mind or spirit done for me recently that deserves appreciation?”
Self-Compassion Prompts:
“What do I need to forgive myself for?”
“What would I say to a friend feeling how I feel? How can I say that to myself?”
Affirmation Prompts:
“What do I love about myself?”
“What makes me unique and beautiful?”
Future Self Prompts:
“How does my highest self handle challenges like the ones I’m facing?”
“What steps can I take today to get closer to her?”
Encouragement Prompts:
“What do I need to hear from myself right now?”
“How can I remind myself that I’m doing my best?”
Becoming Her: One Choice at a Time
Becoming your highest self isn’t about dramatic transformations. It’s about small, intentional choices, moment by moment.
Here’s what becoming her might look like:
Choosing Presence Over Perfection: Staying where your feet are instead of spiraling into worry about the past or future.
Practicing Self-Kindness: Encouraging yourself instead of criticizing when things go wrong.
Aligning Your Actions With Your Values: Saying yes to what matters and no to what doesn’t.
Investing in What She Loves: Doing the things that light her up, whether it’s journaling, moving her body, or taking time to rest.
The Role of Free Will in Alignment
Free will is our greatest tool. It’s what allows us to choose, over and over again, to show up as our highest selves—even when it’s hard.
You can choose to pause instead of react.
You can choose to speak kindly to yourself instead of harshly.
You can choose alignment, even in the middle of chaos.
It’s not about perfection. It’s about progress.
Practical Steps to Align With Your Highest Self
Mirror Work:
Spend time with yourself in the mirror. Sit in stillness, meet your own eyes, and let yourself be seen. Then, use prompts to guide your reflection and connect with your highest self.Set Daily Intentions:
Start your day by asking: “How can I align with my highest self today?” Write it down or say it out loud to keep it top of mind.Check In With Yourself:
Throughout the day, pause and ask: “Am I acting in alignment with my highest self right now?” If not, gently guide yourself back.Celebrate Small Wins:
Every time you make a choice that aligns with her—no matter how small—celebrate it.Reconnect When You Fall Off:
You won’t always stay aligned, and that’s okay. When you feel off, pause, reflect, and choose alignment again.
You Have the Power to Choose Her
Your highest self is already within you. She’s not waiting for you to become perfect or have it all figured out. She’s waiting for you to choose her—to see her, to listen to her, and to move with intention.
So the next time life feels heavy, pause. Find a mirror. Meet your own eyes. And ask: What does my highest self need from me right now? Then choose her.
Because she’s there, rooting for you, ready to guide you toward the version of yourself you’ve always wanted to be. And when you choose her? It changes everything.
Quick Rant & A Hug for the 92%
This ain't no safe space, and I’m not here to sugarcoat anything.
Sometimes we just need to let it out— I used this space for that. I’m not asking you to excuse me for my raw thoughts, I’m warning you before moving forward. I’m allowed to be angry.
To the 92% of Black women who casted their votes for Kamala Harris, I see you. I feel you. And I stand with you.
Today, I’m pissed.
I’m pissed because rights to our bodies are being snatched away, and it feels like the government doesn’t care if we suffocate under the weight of it. I’m pissed because a convicted felon sits in office while I know real felons who can’t even get a call back at Wendy’s. How the actual hell does that make sense? They throw us into the system, break us down, and then deny us opportunities like it’s some sick joke. Meanwhile, they make decisions for us like we’re invisible. It’s a damn shit show, and I’m over it.
I’m pissed because this man plans to start deportations here in Chicago, and yeah, it hits home. We’re all just trying to survive in a place where we’re treated like outsiders in our own damn country… I mean, I AINT ASK TO BE BROUGHT HERE…... It’s an attack on every Brown and Black body out here. It’s not a “policy,” it’s a declaration that we don’t matter.
And you know what else? I’m pissed because the same people I went to school with, people I’ve grown to love and care for, are out here okay with voting for Trump—or not voting at all. O my Lord— Chicago Public School really failed us because, really? This isn’t just about your beliefs; it’s about the lives of your own people. Your business won’t flourish. Your kids won’t be okay. Your future won’t be okay. This system doesn’t just hurt “them”—it hurts us all. And if you’re too comfortable to see that, then you're part of the problem. This is your world too.
I’ve had enough of being the punching bag of a system that doesn’t give a damn about me.
The work is in the resistance.
I’ve been doing the work all along, and it’s not just about pushing for change in ways that get recognized. It’s about the refusal to accept the way this world treats us. The work is in showing up, even when we’re tired. It’s in fighting back with our voices, our actions, and our energy. But right now? I’m tired. I’m taking it slow today because I’ve been pushing, and honestly, I’m out of steam. I’ve been giving everything I have, but I don’t know if I’ve got more to give right now. And you know what? That’s okay.
The work isn’t just in the fight; it’s in the moments when we allow ourselves to feel everything we’re going through. We don’t have to be “on” every second. We don’t always have to be “strong” or “resilient.” Sometimes, it’s okay to just be human. To feel the weight of everything and admit that it’s a lot. Today, I’m sitting with the anger, hurt, and frustration. But even in the middle of it all, I’ve got a little sprinkle of resilience because, as a Black woman, I will be okay. But that doesn’t mean I’m not tired.
So today, I’m giving myself permission to feel every bit of this moment. I’m not going to hide it. I’m not going to shove it down and pretend like everything is fine when it’s not. This system has been failing us, and I won’t sit here and act like we owe it anything.
For the 92% of Black women who voted for Kamala Harris—we’ve done the work. We didn’t do it for praise. We didn’t do it because we thought we’d get anything in return. We did it because we have to, we’re forced to. We show up, because we know that no one else will. But it’s not enough to just show up anymore. The work is in the resistance. The resistance is in knowing that we deserve more. We’ve earned more. And we’re not settling for anything less.
So if you’re feeling that exhaustion, that defeat, that anger—I’m right there with you. Today, take the time you need. The fight is always going to be there. We’ve earned the space to rest, to feel, and to stand firm in what’s ours.
F that man.
Balancing Hustle, Rest, and Faith: Healing While Grinding
Balancing Hustle, Rest, and Faith: Healing While Grinding
Is this a safe space???? This whole “balance” thing? It’s harder than it looks. Life feels like a constant tug-of-war between grinding for the future and enjoying the present. And if we’re being honest, I think a big part of that struggle comes from financial trauma.
Growing up, I saw my mom hustle to give me opportunities, and I’m forever grateful. But that grind mentality left an imprint. Rest wasn’t really an option…it was something you earned after you’d done the absolute most. Now, as an adult, I find myself battling the same mindset. If I’m not working toward the next goal, I feel like I’m slacking.
Let’s talk about the guilt that creeps in when you take a moment to breathe. Like, I know rest is necessary, but part of me thinks, Why are you sitting when there’s money to be made? And don’t even get me started on the numbers. Between student loans that feel like mortgage payments (AHHHHHH- I’m scurrrred- Biden pleaaaaseeeee) and inflation making $300 disappear faster than I can blink, resting feels like a luxury I can’t afford.
I’m learning this hustle mentality doesn’t come from nowhere. Financial trauma is real, and it can feed the guilt around resting. Watching my mom do what she had to do taught me resilience, but it also made me feel like I have to be in constant motion. Actually, writing this has me thinking that’s something I’ll probably start to unpack in therapy. I guess I’m going to keep my girl employed this year.
Financial trauma can shape our relationship with work and rest. It’s not just about money—it’s about safety, stability, and self-worth. If you’ve ever felt like you can’t pause because everything might fall apart, you’re not alone. I’m right there with you, trying to find peace in the pause.
And don’t forget, rest is not laziness. It’s a reset. It’s a way to show up for yourself and your goals without burning out. And let’s not forget: faith without works is dead, but so is work without balance. One of my major goals is to follow the Philippians scripture: worry about nothing, pray about everything. I know I have everything I need to succeed, and if I don’t, I trust that God will bless me in His timing.
Sometimes I remind myself that not everything has to be a moneymaker. I don’t need to monetize my joy. If I want to dance, bake cookies, or binge my favorite show, I don’t need to package it into a side hustle. Shoutout to the creatives turning hobbies into incomes, but some things can just be for us.
This week, I’m focusing on balance. Which is why this blog is coming out a 4PM and not 10AM, thanks for being patient with me. I’m meeting my financial goals, working on my business, and still making time to rest. Balance, for me, means aligning my actions with my values—praying, grinding, resting, and repeating. It’s not perfect, and I’m still figuring it out, but that’s the beauty of it.
Let’s figure this out together. We’re in this mess of life, loans, and living well as a team. Whether you’re working a 9-to-5, building a business, or doing both, let’s remind each other that it’s okay to rest. It’s okay to grind. It’s okay to trust that we’re on the right path.
Resources for Reflection and Growth
Books:
We Should All Be Millionaires by Rachel Rodgers (Black voices on building wealth while living your best life)
The Joy of Missing Out by Tonya Dalton (On balance and saying no to hustle culture)
Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey
The Black Girl's Guide to Financial Freedom by Paris Woods
Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab
Articles and Blogs:
Rest as Resistance: The Nap Ministry’s Guide to Slowing Down (Tricia Hersey's reflections on the power of rest)
The Budgetnista Blog by Tiffany Aliche (Financial empowerment for balance and freedom)
My Digitial Planner and Self Care Bundle is on SALE, now for $10
So, what does balance look like for you this week? What’s working for you right now? What’s hard? Drop your thoughts below—this community is here for all of it! Let’s chat about in the comments.
Loving the Process: Finding Beauty in the Messy Middle
The end of the year hits differently, doesn’t it? Especially when everyone else is out here posting highlight reels: promotions, engagements, new babies, glowing “2024 has been my year” captions. And then there’s you—staring at your phone, wondering if the universe skipped over your RSVP.
If this is hitting a little too close to home, let me remind you of something: the messy middle isn’t the end of your story. In fact, it’s where the magic begins.
This is why I’m obsessed with Capri Delgato’s journey in the Delgato series by Jahquel J. This weekend I finished her story in Capri 3.5 and I was in tears. Her story? It’s real, raw, and way too relatable. Capri didn’t just wake up one day with her life perfectly put together. She cried through her struggles, faced the fear of starting over, and stumbled through the “What now?” moments. And the best part? She came out on the other side stronger, happier, and living a life she never thought she’d have.
Let’s get into it—how Capri Delgato’s messy middle can teach us to embrace our own, especially when everyone else seems to have it all figured out.
The Truth About the “Messy Middle”
Here’s the thing: nobody posts about the messy middle. Nobody’s out here bragging about how they cried themselves to sleep or how they barely scraped by. But that’s exactly where Capri’s story begins.
After losing this forced “happily ever after”, Capri felt lost. Her life wasn’t what she imagined it would be, and she didn’t know what the next chapter looked like. Sound familiar? That’s because the messy middle is where so many of us find ourselves—confused, unsure, and overwhelmed by everything we don’t have figured out. This girl had me STRESSED throughout the series, sis was the definition of doing it for the plot.
But Capri’s story reminds us that the messy middle isn’t the end. It’s the bridge that takes you to everything you’ve been praying for—even if it feels like the longest, bumpiest bridge in the world.
What To Do When You’re in the Mess
If you’re looking at the end of the year and feeling like you didn’t “win” 2024, let me be real with you: your life doesn’t have to look like everyone else’s highlight reel. And honestly, if you’re in the messy middle, here’s how you can embrace it:
1. Stop Comparing Your Process to Their Finish Line
Capri wasn’t scrolling through Instagram comparing her tears to someone else’s wedding photos. (Okay, maybe she was, but she didn’t stay there.) Your timeline isn’t their timeline. Their wins don’t cancel out your growth. You’re not behind—you’re exactly where you need to be, even if it doesn’t feel that way.
2. Let Yourself Be Messy
Let yourself feel all of it—the sadness, the frustration, the loneliness. We get used to pushing it down or faking a smile, which is unfair to our reality. So, if you’re in the messy middle, give yourself permission to be messy. Cry if you need to. Write a list of everything that’s pissing you off. It’s okay not to have it all together. Nobody does.
3. Find the Lesson in the Chaos
Capri’s messy middle wasn’t pretty, but it was necessary. It was through the tears and confusion that she found clarity, learned who she was, and built the foundation for the life she always wanted. Your mess isn’t pointless. It’s teaching you something—about yourself, about life, about what you want.
4. Remember That the Story Isn’t Over
Capri’s full-circle moment hit hard because she didn’t give up. Everything she thought she’d lost—love, stability, happiness—came back to her, and then some. Whatever you’re crying over now? That’s just one chapter. The story isn’t over yet.
Heading Into the New Year
Here’s the real talk: the end of the year doesn’t have to mean a neat, tied-up bow on your life. Sometimes, it just means survival. And that’s okay.
Capri Delgato’s story is proof that the messy middle doesn’t define you—it prepares you. So, if you’re feeling stuck, uninspired, or like you didn’t “win” 2024, let me remind you:
You’re not behind.
Your timeline isn’t broken.
Your messy middle is leading you to something bigger.
When midnight strikes on December 31st, don’t stress about setting resolutions to magically fix your life. Instead, embrace the fact that the mess you’re in right now is part of the process. The tears you cry today are watering the seeds of growth. The struggles you’re facing now are shaping you into the person who’s ready for what’s next.
Capri didn’t rush her journey. She didn’t try to skip the pain. She stayed in it, leaned into the process, and came out stronger on the other side. And you can, too.
Let’s Toast to the Mess
So, here’s my challenge for you as the year wraps up: stop wishing for the good part and start loving the process—even the messy, uncomfortable, tear-filled parts. Because one day, you’ll look back and realize that the mess wasn’t just part of your story—it was the part that made everything else possible.
Your full-circle moment is coming. And trust me, it’s going to be worth the wait.
What’s Your “Messy Middle” Moment?
We’ve all been there—stuck in the chaos, wondering if we’ll ever reach the other side. What’s one lesson you’ve learned while navigating your own messy middle? Or, what’s something you’re still figuring out?
Let’s start a conversation in the comments—your story might inspire someone else who’s in the thick of it right now.
This Week’s Resources
Delgato Series by Jahquel J
Follow Capri Delgato’s journey in this raw and relatable series that explores love, loss, and finding yourself. Jahquel J’s storytelling highlights the power of growth, even through heartbreak. (Series starts at Capone -> Cappadonna -> Capri. Fair warning, it gets nasssttyyyy).We’re Going to Need More Wine by Gabrielle Union
A collection of essays about life’s highs and lows, offering a real and vulnerable perspective on navigating challenges.You Are Your Best Thing edited by Tarana Burke and Brené Brown
An anthology of Black voices sharing their stories of vulnerability and resilience.The Sisters Are Alright by Tamara Winfrey Harris
A love letter to Black women, dismantling stereotypes and celebrating the beauty of imperfection.
Podcasts
The Read
Kid Fury and Crissle’s hilarious yet heartfelt conversations touch on everything from pop culture to navigating life’s challenges.Therapy for Black Girls
Dr. Joy Harden Bradford delivers practical advice on mental health and self-care for Black women.Balanced Black Girl
A motivational podcast with actionable tips to grow through life’s messiness while honoring your journey.Black Girl in Om
Focused on holistic wellness and self-care, perfect for finding grounding in chaotic moments.
Journaling Prompts
What would my 10-year-old self think of who I am now?
What part of my journey am I most proud of, even if it didn’t go as planned?
What would it look like to give myself grace in this season?
Who inspires me, and why?
Journals and Tools
The Remedy Journal by Intrinsme
This beautifully designed journal offers prompts and reflections to help you find clarity, focus, and healing during the messiest moments. It’s the perfect companion for embracing your growth journey.
Social Media and Online Communities
The Nap Ministry (@thenapministry)
A reminder to rest and take care of yourself as an act of resistance and self-love.Alex Elle (@alex_elle)
Daily doses of gentle reminders, journaling prompts, and encouragement for life’s middle moments.Black Women Healing Pod (@blackwomenhealingpod)
A safe space for Black women to explore healing, mental health, and self-compassion.
Books & Resources for Growth
Black Girls Must Die Exhausted by Jayne Allen
A heartwarming and honest exploration of life’s challenges, friendships, and self-discovery.It’s Not All Downhill from Here by Terry McMillan
A powerful story about reinvention and finding joy even when life throws curveballs.
Affirmations for the Messy Middle
“I am not behind; I’m exactly where I need to be.”
“My pace is mine, and it is enough.”
“This chapter is part of my story, and it has value.”
“I will celebrate the small wins because they lead to big victories.”
Professional Support
Therapy for Black Girls Directory
A resource for finding Black therapists who can help you navigate the mess with compassion and understanding.HealHaus
A wellness space centered around healing for people of color, offering virtual therapy, yoga, and meditation.Black Emotional and Mental Health Collective (BEAM)
A community supporting Black mental health and emotional well-being.
From Panic to Peace: A Black Girl's Guide to Living with Anxiety and PTSD
Let’s get one thing straight right from the jump: I did not grow up in a family that talked about mental health. Therapy? Who’s she? Anxiety? Not for Black folk—at least, that’s what they told us.
I grew up in a "pray it away" household. Feeling overwhelmed? Just take it to the Lord. Can’t focus? Child, go drink some ginger tea. Having panic attacks? Now, you know we don’t do that in this house.
And listen, I love my family, but back then, mental health care wasn’t even in question. It wasn’t something we discussed. Therapy felt like a foreign concept. Anxiety? They’d act like I was making it up or, worse, “acting out.”
But here’s the truth: I wasn’t acting out. I was struggling. And, unfortunately, nobody in my life had the language to help me figure that out.
Anxiety and Black Girlhood: The Trouble with “Attitude”
Let me tell you something about anxiety—it’s sneaky, and it wears a million disguises. For me, anxiety didn’t just show up as trembling hands or panic attacks. Sometimes, it showed up as irritability. And if you’re a Black girl, you already know how that story ends: What’s with the attitude? Fix your face. You always gotta be so snappy.
My anxiety would bubble up as frustration, and that frustration got me into trouble more times than I care to admit. I wasn’t trying to be rude; I was overwhelmed. But instead of anyone asking what was wrong, they’d say, “Stop acting grown” or “Don’t bring that mess in here.”
This is what happens when society ties us to the Strong Black Woman schema—that unspoken rule that says we’re supposed to handle everything without breaking a sweat. Black women are taught to bear pain, push through, and never let them see us cry. It’s exhausting. But let me tell you: being “strong” doesn’t mean burning yourself out trying to meet impossible standards. It’s okay to be human, to ask for help, to let yourself feel. That’s strength, too.
When "Good Enough" Is Never Enough
I didn’t realize how much of my anxiety stemmed from this need to be perfect at everything. Growing up, it felt like I was either making straight A’s or failing at life. There was no in-between.
The pressure to succeed—to prove myself, to avoid making mistakes, to not mess up because the stakes were too high—was suffocating. And when I wasn’t perfect (because spoiler alert: nobody is), my anxiety would eat me alive.
I was stuck in this loop: overachieve, burn out, beat myself up, repeat. Perfectionism wasn’t just about excelling; it was about survival. And that’s a hard cycle to break, especially when you feel like the world expects you to have it all together 24/7.
For Us (Not) By Us
One thing I wish more people understood is that anxiety doesn’t always look like hyperventilating or crying in a corner. For me—and for many Black women—it shows up as:
Constantly feeling on edge, like I’m bracing for something bad
Snapping at people over little things
Difficulty relaxing (because who has time to rest when the world is burning?)
Overthinking and replaying conversations in my head, looking for where I went “wrong”
In the Club, We All Fam
Anxiety isn’t my enemy. In fact, I’ve started to personify her—yep, I gave my anxiety a whole personality. And guess what? I’m not mad at her anymore. She means well. She’s just trying to keep me safe, even if she goes about it all wrong sometimes. Anxiety makes sure I pay my bills on time, she makes sure I pack must haves for vacation.
When I stopped fighting her and started listening, my reaction to her changed. Instead of spiraling, I can say, “I see you, girl. I know you’re here because you care. But I’ve got this. You can sit this one out.”
You’re not Broken, your Body is Doing its Job.
It’s been helpful for me to understand why my body was betraying me when anxiety or trauma popped up. Let me explain it to you, free of charge. Imagine your body has this super smart security system. It’s always on guard, watching for threats—like that messy coworker, a bad date, or even that one auntie who always comes with shade, we call it the vagus nerve. It runs on something called your nervous system, and it’s trying to keep you safe.
But sometimes, it gets confused. It’s like that one car alarm in the neighborhood that goes off for no reason. That’s anxiety and PTSD—they’ve got your body thinking there’s a problem, even when things are fine.
Here’s how it works:
Calm and Chill Mode
When life is good, your body knows it. You feel relaxed, your energy’s balanced, and you’re ready to take on the world. You can laugh at jokes, handle stress without flipping out, and just vibe. This is where we all want to live but for people with anxiety and PTSD, it’s not always easy to hang out here.Fight or Flight Mode
Let something stressful happen, and BAM! Your body hits the panic button. Your heart races, your muscles tighten, and you feel like you’ve got to fight or run. This is your body thinking, Girl, we’re in danger! Anxiety often parks you here, keeping you on edge for no reason.Shut Down Mode
And if the stress gets too much—like overwhelming much—your body might just give up. You feel drained, numb, like you’re on autopilot. You’re not being lazy, sis; your body’s just trying to protect itself by checking out.
Healing Tools That Help Me Thrive
If you’ve made it this far, you’re probably wondering: Okay, but how do I deal with anxiety when it shows up? Let me drop some gems on what’s helped me:
Affirmations & Mantras: One of my favorites is straight out of Philippians 4:6—“Be anxious about nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God.” I repeat this to myself when I feel anxiety creeping in, combining it with deep breathing. And let me tell you, it’s chef’s kiss.
Sound Healing: Green noise (think rain, waves, or wind) has been a game-changer for me. Add some sound bowls and frequency noise? Listen, my brain feels like it’s doing yoga. It’s grounding, it’s clarifying, and it’s peaceful.
Butterfly Hug: Cross your arms over your chest, hands on your shoulders, and gently tap. It’s simple but powerful. It helps me calm my nervous system when anxiety tries to hijack my body. Check out this video to see it in action.
Exercise and TIPP: Working out helps me sweat out the stress (and feel snatched). And when I’m in distress, I use TIPP (Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, Progressive Relaxation) to bring myself back to calm.
Self-Compassion and Humor: Let’s be real—healing is messy. I’ve learned to give myself grace, to rest when I need to, and to laugh at myself when I take things too seriously.
Safe Spaces: Being around people who make you feel seen and supported can calm your body faster than you think. Therapy or even a FaceTime with your bestie can help you get back to center.
The Bigger Picture
At the end of the day, my anxiety isn’t my enemy. I’ve learned to see her as a part of me that’s just trying to protect me. She’s not out to hurt me—she’s just loud and dramatic sometimes. (I mean, same.)
Through therapy, faith, and these tools, I’ve gone from feeling like anxiety controlled my life to realizing that I’m in the driver’s seat. Healing isn’t linear, but it’s worth every step.
As you navigate this journey of understanding and managing anxiety, remember this wisdom from the late, great Nikki Giovanni
"Once you know who you are, you don’t have to worry anymore."
For Black women, this is a reminder to embrace the strength, depth, and complexity of who we are—beyond the labels, the stereotypes, and even the expectations we sometimes place on ourselves. Healing starts with knowing and owning your truth. When you can do that, worry starts to lose its power.
So, let’s keep doing the work: finding balance, leaning on our practices, and rewriting the narratives that don’t serve us. Be proud of every step, no matter how small. You've got this.
Now, go take a deep breath, play some green noise, and give yourself a Butterfly Hug. You deserve it.
Books I’ve enjoyed on this Journey:
The Unapologetic Guide to Black Mental Health by Dr. Rheeda Walker
Black Girl, Call Home by Jasmine Mans
Professional Troublemaker: The Fear-Fighter Manual by Luvvie Ajayi Jones
Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto by Tricia Herse
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.
Black Pain: It Just Looks Like We're Not Hurting by Terrie M. Williams
Be Anxious for Nothing: Finding Calm in a Chaotic World by Max Lucado
Sacred Woman: A Guide to Healing the Feminine Body, Mind, and Spirit by Queen Afua
Decentering Men/Women: How Shifting Generational Expectations Can Lead to Healthier Lives
Let’s have a real conversation about something that keeps coming up: the idea of making someone else—whether that’s a man, woman, or anyone you love—the center of your universe. Spoiler alert: it’s not healthy, no matter how cute they are or how good they look in a tailored suit or flowy dress.
This isn’t about bashing men or women. It’s about looking at how centering your life on anyone can make you lose sight of who you are. And trust me, that’s the quickest way to burn out, miss out, and wake up one day wondering where you went.
The College Pressure: "Find Your Partner by Graduation"
When I went to Syracuse, I saw it firsthand. People out here treating college like it was a husband-or-wife-finding competition. We were 18, still figuring out how to do use Blackboard, and some people already had “ring by spring” energy. I mean, I get it—independence can feel scary, and a partner might seem like a shortcut to stability.
And listen, I got caught up too. There was a time when I thought I was madly in love. Looking back? I can’t even tell you why I felt that way. Maybe it was because he was fine, could read a book without struggling, and sh*t he was fine.
That pressure to find someone isn’t just a college thing, though. In the first-gen community, it’s deep. The way I see it, you’re often expected to pick a lane: either find someone to build a family with (and carry the weight of generational caregiving) or focus on becoming the boss who takes care of everyone else. But why does it have to be one or the other?
What Happens When You Center a Partner
Here’s the hard truth: when you make someone the center of your life, you start living for them instead of yourself. You’re not chasing your dreams; you’re making decisions based on how they’ll fit into their life. And over time, that becomes exhausting—for both of you.
For men, this might look like feeling the constant pressure to “provide” or be the emotional rock, even when you’re barely holding yourself together. For women, it can show up as pouring everything into being the caretaker, leaving no room for your own goals or well-being. Either way, it’s unsustainable.
A healthy relationship isn’t about one person doing all the heavy lifting. It’s about both people showing up, doing the emotional labor, and creating a partnership that allows both of you to grow.
Decentering Your Partner: The Key to Thriving
Let me be clear: I’m not saying relationships aren’t important. I love my man deeply. But I love me even more. And I’ve made it a point not to let my life revolve around him. I’ve learned that love is about addition, not subtraction and have built a life that honors both of us without making him the center of my universe.
Why? Because I’ve seen what happens when people lose themselves in their relationships. They stop dreaming big. They stop taking risks. They stop being curious about the world because they’re too busy trying to be the perfect partner.
When you decenter your partner, you create space for yourself. You make room to explore your passions, set goals, and build a life that fulfills you—so that when you do come together as a couple, you’re bringing your full, authentic self to the table.
For First-Gens: Breaking the Mold
As a first-gen twenty-something, the stakes feel higher. Your family sacrificed a lot to get you to where you are, and there’s this expectation to carry that forward. For women, that might look like finding a partner who can help you provide for the next generation. For men, it’s often about being the backbone of the family.
But what if we flipped the script? What if the best way to honor those sacrifices was to live authentically, to chase your dreams, and to build relationships that complement your life instead of consuming it?
I’m choosing to live in the gray area. I want to build a thriving career and a loving family—not one at the expense of the other. I want my kids to see what a balanced, healthy life looks like, so they don’t feel the same pressure to choose between success and love.
Emotional Labor: A Shared Responsibility
One thing I have to talk about is emotional labor. It’s that invisible work that keeps relationships running—the check-ins, the planning, the caretaking. And if it’s falling on one person (often the woman, but not always), it’s a problem.
Men, this is your cue to show up emotionally. Women, this is your reminder to let people take accountability for their part in the relationship. Everyone deserves a partner, not a therapist or a parent.
Also, can we make a pact to take the podcast mics away from anyone who hasn’t done the work to heal through their own stuff? Because we don’t need more relationship advice from people projecting their unprocessed trauma.
Finding Yourself Outside the Relationship
At the end of the day, your relationship should be a part of your life—not your whole life. Whether you’re single, dating, or married, your happiness starts with you.
Take yourself on solo dates. Pursue hobbies that make you lose track of time. Set boundaries that protect your peace. Because the better you know and love yourself, the better you can show up in any relationship.
Decentering for the Future
When you stop centering your life around a partner, you start living for yourself—and that’s when the magic happens. You open yourself up to new experiences, deeper connections, and a life that feels true to who you are.
So whether you’re navigating first-gen pressures, figuring out your next move, or just trying to find balance, remember this: you are whole on your own. Your relationship should be a bonus, not the foundation.
Let’s build lives that honor where we come from without losing sight of who we are. Because you, my friend, deserve to thrive.
Let’s Do This Together
We’re all about community here, so let’s make this a shared journey. This week, I challenge you to:
Journal It Out: Take 10 minutes to reflect on this question: “What do I want for my life outside of my relationship?” Be honest, dream big, and don’t hold back.
Solo Time Challenge: Pick one thing to do just for you this week. It could be a solo coffee date, trying out that yoga class you’ve been eyeing, or just curling up with a book.
When you’ve done one (or both), come share your experience with the community! Drop a comment, DM me, or tag me on TikTok @ADoseofKen with what you did and how it felt. Let’s inspire each other to prioritize ourselves—because we deserve it.
Resources to Help You Get There
Want to dive deeper? Here are some books from Black voices to help you balance love, life, and everything in between:
Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab
All About Love by bell hooks
Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde
We Should All Be Millionaires by Rachel Rodgers (because financial independence is a form of self-love too!)
When you’re grounded in who you are, your relationship becomes the cherry on top—not the whole sundae. So here’s to love, but more importantly, here’s to you.
Creating a Vision for Your Future (Even When It Feels Uncertain)
Let me set the scene: it was an all-white party, my college besties and I were living our best lives- tipsyyyyyy, the drinks were flowing. At some point in the night, we found ourselves drunkenly running around a table, chanting, “I’m 30 and I’m sexy!” Looking back, it was chaotic and hilarious, but also… kind of profound. I didn’t realize it then, but we were speaking life over ourselves. It was a glittery, tipsy 13 Going on 30 moment—pure Jenna Rink energy.
Now here I am at 29, just a year shy of that “sexy 30” declaration, and I’m living a life I once prayed for. But here’s the kicker: recent events have had me sitting with some hard questions- I can’t wait to spill the tea on that but that’s not what we’re talking about today. It’s been having me like, Wait, God… what exactly was in that prayer? Because while I’m grateful for how far I’ve come, I’m also navigating some big decisions that feel steeped in uncertainty. And you know what? That’s okay.
Before we go further, this isn’t one of those “I’ve got it all figured out” moments—it’s more of a “we’re in this together” vibe. This is a safe space, right? Y’all won’t call the people if you see me crashing out right? Ok, cool. Let’s talk about how to hold space for your dreams, faith, and self-compassion, especially when the road ahead feels unclear.
Speak It into Existence
One thing about me? I’ve always been a dreamer. But dreaming isn’t just about wishful thinking; it’s about planting seeds, even if you don’t know exactly when or how they’ll grow. Take my longtime habit of introducing myself as Dr. Kendal’Spirit. Do I have my PhD yet? Not even close. But claiming it early gave me something to work toward.
And listen, I didn’t just say it for vibes. I started aligning my actions with that vision—earning my master’s degree, building a support system, and exposing myself to the spaces I wanted to be in. I may not have all the answers, but I’m out here taking steps. And when I scroll through my private Pinterest boards filled with dream houses and new cars, I’m not just fantasizing; I’m preparing my heart to receive those blessings when the time is right.
Here’s the takeaway: speak life over yourself, even if you’re unsure of the timing. It’s not about having everything figured out—it’s about honoring the possibility of what could be.
Lean on Faith (and Be Kind to Yourself)
Uncertainty used to terrify me. I liked having plans and control and clear paths. But over the years, I’ve learned to lean into my faith and let go of the need to see the entire road. One of my favorite prayers is simple but powerful: “God, allow Your plan to be better than mine. Align me with where You see me.”
And let me tell you, God is quick to remind me: “Your plan was too small, Kendal.” Every time I think something isn’t working out the way it should, it turns out it’s just making space for something better.
That doesn’t mean it’s easy, though. There are moments when I feel stuck, scared, or unsure. In those moments, I try to talk to myself the way I would a best friend: It’s okay to not know right now. You’re doing your best. Keep going. Self-compassion is the bridge between where you are and where you’re going, so don’t forget to extend that grace to yourself.
Surround Yourself with the Right People
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you don’t have to figure it all out alone. My support system is everything. When I face a setback, I’m not met with “I told you so” or judgment. Instead, my people are like, “Alright, girl, what’s next? What do you need? Let’s figure it out together.”
That kind of energy is life-changing. It’s why I’m intentional about who I keep close. I don’t need naysayers or people who doubt my dreams—I need people who see my potential, even on days when I don’t.
If you don’t have that yet, start by being that person for yourself. Cheer yourself on. Believe in your ability to figure it out. The right people will find you when you start showing up for yourself.
Give Yourself Permission to Dream Big
Let’s be real: going after the life you want can feel scary, especially when it doesn’t look doable to everyone else—or even to you sometimes. But that’s okay. You don’t need anyone else’s approval to dream big.
For me, dreaming big isn’t just about the end goal—it’s about the process. It’s about figuring it out one step at a time, trusting that I’m being guided, and reminding myself that failure is just a stepping stone. The worst thing I can do is not try.
So when I think about where I’m headed, I remind myself: God’s plan is better than mine. I don’t have to see the whole picture to take the next step. And neither do you.
Let’s Keep Figuring It Out
If you’re in a season of uncertainty, know this: you’re not alone. I’m right there with you, figuring it out as I go, trusting God, and leaning into what feels right. Some days it’s messy, some days it’s magic—but every day, it’s worth it.
So here’s to dreaming big, trusting the process, and giving ourselves the grace to keep going. We’ve got this. Together.
And before I go, I have to give a special shoutout to my girlalalalassss—the Unfriendly, Educated Black Hotties—for walking through this life thing with me. Y’all keep me grounded, inspired, and laughing through it all. We’ve got this. Together.
Tips:
Create a mantra: Choose a phrase that embodies your goals, like “I am becoming everything I’m meant to be,” and repeat it daily.
Celebrate out loud: Don’t be afraid to share your aspirations in safe spaces. Let yourself believe they’re possible.
Vision boards & journals: Document your dreams visually or through writing. Keep them somewhere you can revisit often
Find an anchoring prayer or affirmation: Something like, “God, align me with Your plan. Let it be better than mine.”
Pause for gratitude: When you’re overwhelmed, take a moment to list what’s going right. It helps shift your perspective.
Show yourself grace: Instead of spiraling when plans change, remind yourself that you’re learning and adapting.
Do an energy audit: Reflect on how you feel after interacting with people. Keep the ones who uplift you close.
Find your “What’s next?” crew: Look for people who brainstorm solutions with you instead of dwelling on problems.
Be that person for others: The support you give often mirrors the support you receive.
Dream without limits: Ask yourself, What would I want if I knew I couldn’t fail? Let your imagination run wild.
Take small, aligned steps: You don’t need to know the entire path—just focus on the next right step.
Focus on your “why”: Remember the deeper purpose behind your goals. It’ll keep you motivated when things get hard.
I’d love to hear from you—how are you navigating your own season of uncertainty? What’s helping you dream big, trust yourself, and stay aligned with your faith? Drop a comment and let’s keep this conversation going. We’re all figuring it out together (hopefully I figured out how to put these comments on haha, drop a comment and let me know). 💛
The Power of Vulnerability: Why It’s Okay to Not Have Everything Figured Out
Ever feel like you need to have it all together, but you just don’t? Society, family, and even social media often make us feel like we’re failing if our life doesn’t look like a highlight reel. For many, especially Black women, the pressure to embody the "Strong Black Woman" schema can make vulnerability feel like a luxury we can’t afford. But here’s the truth: vulnerability isn’t a weakness; it’s a superpower.
Societal Pressures to "Have It All Figured Out"
Growing up as the oldest daughter, my family made sure I was laser-focused on my studies. Dating? A distraction. So, I did what I was supposed to—got a degree, built a career, and became financially independent. But now, at 29, my family greets me with, “When will you have babies? When’s the wedding?” UM, WHAT?! Y’all are confusing me.
These unrealistic expectations, especially for first-gen adults, make us feel like we’re always falling short.
A Personal Story of Vulnerability
At 25, my life hit a turning point. I was stuck in a career I’d outgrown, battling anxiety and depression, and grieving the loss of my grandfather. I had no hobbies, no joy, just me and my endless thoughts. Reading Yvonne Orji’s Bamboozled by Jesus was my wake-up call. That book lit a fire under me! It reminded me of my purpose and pushed me to take action.
I admitted to myself that where I was wasn’t where I wanted to be, and from that moment, I committed to change. I started grad school, made a plan for my life, and began walking in my truth.
Pro Tip: Check out Yvonne Orji’s book here.
How Vulnerability Fosters Connection
Letting my guard down helped me connect with amazing people who were meant to be in my life. When you stop pretending everything’s perfect, the right people show up.
Reframing Vulnerability
Vulnerability is growth. Releasing shame and doubt is key. Here’s a tip: journal your thoughts and identify where your shame comes from. Writing helped me rediscover myself and even inspired my business, Product of Therapy and Prayer, which started with selling journals.
The Myth of "Perfectly Put-Together"
Stop comparing yourself to others’ highlight reels. Imperfection is human. Try these journaling prompts to embrace vulnerability:
What’s one thing I feel shame about, and why?
What would my life look like if I showed up as my authentic self?
What’s one step I can take today to let go of perfectionism?
How can I love myself when I am not perfect?
Conclusion
No one has it all figured out, and that’s okay. Vulnerability is a tool for self-awareness, connection, and healing. Be kind to yourself—you’re exactly where you need to be.
How to Handle Stress and Anxiety in Your 20s (Without Losing Your Sh*t)
Did you know over 60% of young adults feel stressed about their future? As a Black first-gen adult, stress isn’t just about work or school—it’s the weight of family expectations, cultural pressure, and breaking generational cycles. Trust me, I’ve been there.
Balancing Multiple Roles
As first-gens, we juggle everything: careers, education, family, and friends. It’s overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it all at once. Think of your energy as tanks: emotional, physical, financial, self-care, humor, and romance. If they’re all empty, it’s dangerous. Monitor them and refill as needed!
Understanding Stress and Anxiety
Stress isn’t just in your head. It’s in your body too. High-functioning anxiety and depression can look like “success” to others, but inside, you’re barely holding it together. Recognizing this is the first step.
Coping Strategies for Stress and Anxiety in Your 20s
💬 "Let’s talk real quick because life be lifin’, and sometimes it’s just a lot. Here’s what’s helped me and might help you too, step by step."
1. Mindfulness: Be Here Now
Mindfulness doesn’t mean sitting cross-legged and chanting (unless that’s your thing). It’s about bringing your attention to this moment.
Start with this:
Sit somewhere comfortable. Take a deep breath in through your nose for 4 seconds, hold it for 4 seconds, and then let it out for 6 seconds. Do this three times.
While you breathe, think: “I am safe. I am here. This moment is enough.”
When life is loud:
Try a “5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Exercise.”
Look around and name 5 things you can see.
Touch 4 things you can feel.
Listen for 3 things you can hear.
Notice 2 things you can smell.
Identify 1 thing you can taste.
It’s like hitting the “reset” button for your brain.
2. Journaling: Dump It All Out
Girl, journaling isn’t just for teenagers writing about their crushes—it’s your free therapist in a notebook.
When you’re overwhelmed:
Grab a journal (or scrap paper, or your Notes app) and write for 5 minutes. Literally anything. Start with, “Right now, I’m feeling…”
Or, try this journal prompt: “What’s one thing I’m proud of today?”
Want to go deeper?
Write a letter to your stress. Be as petty or emotional as you want. (“Dear Stress, why you gotta be like this?”)
End the letter by telling it what you’re going to do to take control.
💡 If you need a journal, peep my collection here. Start your journaling journey with intention!
3. Exercise: Move That Body
Listen, you don’t have to be a gym rat for this. Moving your body, even just a little, can quiet your mind.
Here’s a quick start:
Set a timer for 10 minutes. Put on your favorite playlist and dance like nobody’s watching. No choreography, no rules—just vibe.
Take a walk. Leave your phone behind or play a podcast (I love “Therapy for Black Girls” or “On Purpose with Jay Shetty”).
Got gym access?
My bestie Megs put me on to ClassPass, and chef’s kiss! Use this link to get a free month. Try yoga, pilates, or boxing to let off steam!
4. Boundaries: Protect Your Peace
Listen, “no” is a full sentence. And you don’t need to explain it.
For family:
If they’re asking for too much, try this: “I love y’all, but I need to focus on myself right now. I hope you understand.”
If someone presses you about life choices (“Where the babies at?!”), practice: “I’m working on myself right now. Thanks for understanding.” Then change the subject.
For work:
Block out “me time” on your calendar, even if it’s just 30 minutes. Treat it like an unmissable meeting.
5. Support System: Find Your People
Your friends aren’t your therapists, but the right ones can be your lifeline.
Lean on them, but gently:
Instead of dumping everything, try: “Hey, I’m feeling overwhelmed. Can we talk about something lighter for a bit?”
If they’re not available, don’t take it personally. Everyone’s juggling something.
Build your team:
Invest in therapy if you can. Therapy is self-care with a license. (Hot tip: Check if your job offers an Employee Assistance Program!)
Pro Tip: Your friends’ inability to support you doesn’t mean they’re bad friends; it means they have their own stuff too.
6. Time Management: The Art of Doing Less
When everything feels urgent, take a deep breath. Not everything needs to be done today.
Start here:
Write down everything you need to do this week.
Highlight the top 3. Focus on those. The rest? They can wait.
Feeling stuck?
Try the “Pomodoro Technique.” Set a timer for 25 minutes. Work on one task. Then take a 5-minute break. Repeat.
You’re not in this alone. Stress and anxiety are real, but so are your tools to fight them. Start small. Breathe. Move. Set boundaries. You’ve got this.
And when it feels like too much? Remember, you’re building strength in these moments. Let’s grow together. 🖤
The Struggles and Strengths of Being the Oldest Daughter
I wish “oldest daughter” could be listed as an official job title on my résumé because, truthfully, I’ve acquired some of my best skills in this role—organization, leadership, planning, problem-solving, you name it. Since I was a toddler, I’ve been a resourceful queen, whether it was figuring out how to get gum out of my sister’s favorite doll’s hair or editing her college essays. I joke with my sister that she calls me for help before she even thinks, but honestly, it’s not a joke.
Now, add the title of first-gen oldest daughter into the mix, and woo—let’s pass the collection plate around. There’s a unique weight to being the “go-to” person in the family. It’s fulfilling at times, but it’s also exhausting.
The Sense of Responsibility
Being the oldest often feels like being a second parent. You’re expected to balance your personal growth while supporting everyone else’s. And let me tell you, that weight is heavy. There have been moments where I’m knee-deep in my own mess—barely holding it together—and my sister calls me for something she could’ve Googled. I’ll ignore the call to protect my peace, but then my mom chimes in with, “Can you figure this out for your sister?” or “Can you talk to your sister? She’s out of control.”
Ma’am, that is your child.
And here I am, caught in the middle, feeling like I can’t even afford to lose it because someone needs me. In my lowest moments, I used to wish I had someone like me—an older sister to carry the weight, someone to look out for me the way I’ve looked out for everyone else.
It’s isolating being the “problem solver” of the family. But then I have to ask myself—in true Carrie Bradshaw fashion—who assigned me this role? Did someone officially hand me this responsibility, or have I carried this stress unnecessarily for most of my life?
How This Role Shapes Identity
This role often shapes our sense of self in profound ways, sometimes for the worse. Being the oldest daughter often goes hand-in-hand with something I like to talk about with my clients: maladaptive perfectionism. We feel the need to have it all together, all the time. The weight of constantly being “on” can contribute to anxiety, depression, and stress, all of which can manifest in clinical ways.
But it’s not all bad. This role has also given me invaluable strengths.
The Strengths You Gain
As a therapist, I can confidently say my early “job” as the big sister shaped my clinical skills. It taught me empathy, leadership, and how to juggle multiple roles. It’s helped me in friendships, relationships, and even in running my business. I am literally a girl boss.
Looking back, Kendal always knew who she was. My childhood prepared me to show up for others—and for myself—in ways I never imagined.
Self-Care for Oldest Daughters
To my fellow oldest daughters: Put that phone down when you need to. Seriously. You don’t always have to jump into problem-solving mode because sometimes your siblings don’t need a parent; they just need their sibling.
Take care of yourself. Deal with the stress instead of pushing through it. Ask for support instead of trying to do it all on your own. And most importantly, set boundaries.
Self-Care Tips for Oldest Daughters
Take Breaks Without Guilt
You’re allowed to rest. The world won’t fall apart if you step away for a moment. Schedule time for yourself, even if it’s just 30 minutes to read, walk, or breathe.
Do Something Just for You
Engage in activities that bring you joy—whether it’s binge-watching a guilty pleasure, trying a new hobby, or treating yourself to a solo date.
Say No Without Explaining
Practice saying, “I can’t help with that right now,” or “I’m not available.” You don’t need to justify prioritizing yourself.
Reconnect With Your Inner Child
Think about what made you happy when you were younger. Was it painting, riding your bike, or dancing in your room? Do it again. It’s healing.
Delegate Responsibilities
It’s okay to share the load. If others in your family can handle something, let them. You don’t need to do it all.
Create Daily Rituals
Incorporate small, grounding rituals like morning journaling, lighting a candle, or practicing gratitude. These moments of peace add up.
Boundary-Setting Tips for Oldest Daughters
Identify What’s Draining You
Pay attention to tasks or interactions that leave you feeling exhausted. These areas likely need boundaries.
Use Assertive Communication
Speak calmly but firmly when setting boundaries. For example, “I’m happy to help, but I can’t drop everything right now.”
Be Okay With Discomfort
Boundaries might upset others at first, but that doesn’t mean you’re wrong. Discomfort is a natural part of growth—for you and them.
Set “Office Hours”
Let family members know when you’re available to help and when you’re not. For instance, “I’ll be free to talk after 7 PM.”
Stop Jumping in Immediately
Give others a chance to figure things out before stepping in. Not every problem requires your immediate input.
Write Your Boundaries Down
Create a list of boundaries you’d like to maintain. Seeing them in writing helps you stay accountable to yourself.
Seek Support When Needed
If setting boundaries feels hard, talk it out with someone you trust—a friend, a partner, or even a therapist.
Remember: Boundaries Are Acts of Love
Setting boundaries isn’t about shutting people out; it’s about protecting your energy so you can show up fully for the things that matter most.
Taking care of yourself and setting boundaries is not selfish—it’s necessary. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and prioritizing your well-being ensures you have the capacity to continue showing up for those you care about. ❤️
Conclusion
The experience of being the oldest daughter is different for everyone, but one thing is for sure: it builds strength and wisdom like no other. Remember, they didn’t ask to be the youngest, just like we didn’t ask to be the oldest.
Still, we’re all figuring this life thing out for the first time. Take care of yourself—you deserve it. And if this resonates, share your story. Let’s lift each other up as we navigate this unique journey together.